


Between Frames

by woofbebe



Series: Picturesque [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Kihyun's POV, M/M, Photography, mentions of others - Freeform, slow burn series i guess, very slight joohyuk in this chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 22:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12803733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woofbebe/pseuds/woofbebe
Summary: It was in the space of a viewfinder that he would let himself roam. It was there that he would feel the safest. But the heart was the most vulnerable when it felt the most secure, anyway.-Or when a zoning out mess Kihyun asked his teasing dongsaeng to help him with portrait assignment one afternoon, basically.





	Between Frames

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to rest or do something else but the idea just screamed at me in the darkness of my room (in daylight, actually) and it wasn't that long until I'm drabbling a thousand words on my phone. Might as well just finish this, then, especially since it's Kihyun and photography and it -was- his birthday. Happy (belated) Birthday to our vocalist & eomma! <3

 

To paint with light, it basically meant.

For some reason, Kihyun felt naturally aligned to it. Not really because it might feel virtuous, as how people tended to associate with light, but he just found it calming, if not alluring. It was something that he already felt calling him even years back, as soon as he could remember. He recalled he used to stand still on fields, beaches, parks, just to see it; to live in a moment.

It wasn’t exactly the shape, he’d like to assume. Sometimes it was the wind, or maybe how he squinted his eyes just from the blazing sun, and other days it would be how his feet were half-drowning in water, or sometimes sunk deep in the warm sand. It was the overall sensations, of silently basking in each and every passing second, the rare chances human could embrace life itself. To the passerby, there were all things solid or in-between that made the vision; the object. To those who painted, it was the biased light, glistening reflections, and the likes of filtered rays that would speak for the moment itself.

Yes, it all came down into a very-much flat medium in the end. Yes, there would indeed be no sound, nothing to touch; nothing else. But wasn’t that the point? Weren’t our memories the same? There wasn’t really any sound or touch that would come out, actually, but nonetheless it always sought to wake up something in our consciences. It all served the same, another manifestation of how time passed. So easy to miss, yet was its own universe.

It all felt very personal to Kihyun, familiar yet still secluded. Perhaps that’s why he liked it so much, he thought, he was partly reserved, after all. Every shot, every moment was individualistic to each of their own significances; and it helped Kihyun on keeping his feelings organized. It had become his way of treasuring things, a way to unwind in peace.

Naturally now, almost two decades later, he had made himself his decision and followed through it to college, taking Photography as his major. There, he met Minhyuk, and then there came a lot of other people too much to his dismay since apparently the boy was such a people magnet. He had never really liked crowds, but well, he assumed his current 7-people circle was borderline and just rolled with it. It wasn’t like they always hung out the complete pack, anyway, not that he would mind as much.

.

“Where are we going, hyung?”, a soft yet deep voice asked. The tone the man used felt way too innocent to fit with the sound of his own voice.

“I’m not sure yet, Changkyun-ah”, he shrugged. “Have you eaten yet?”

A little confused at being questioned back, the younger just shook his head. It wasn’t that late in the day, just into lunch time now that it was 12.30 PM. Thing was, he had overslept earlier and just rushed to attend his class, missing his breakfast (that usually wasn’t much anyway). Now that he remembered and it was already lunch, his stomach grumbled.

Kihyun looked back, eyes softening when he caught the slightly raised brows and pouted lips of the younger. He looked like an abandoned puppy you would encounter on a rainy day, begging to be taken back home and deep down his motherly-instinct just couldn’t take it. He ruffled the boy’s hair instead, laughing softly as he watched the other’s eyes fluttering close.

“Let’s just go to the cafeteria, then.”, said the older. “I was going to ask you to help with my portraits assignment, but it’s pretty basic anyway. Let’s just eat first.”, he explained while scrolling down his phone, checking on his assignment notes. Putting his phone back to his backpack, he then reached down to softly tug on his dongsaeng’s wrist, guiding him to the destination. He missed how the other’s eyes silently followed him.

.

If there was something Kihyun liked about his university, had he been asked, it was how picturesque the buildings and the parks were in general. Sure, it had a wide range of major options, each with reasonably good reputation in its field, but it was nothing compared to the architecture and landscape. You might say he put his priorities wrong, but then again he’s the Photography major, so it’s not that far a stretch, right? –or so he would justify himself.

Kihyun liked to think that perhaps, no, most likely, architecture and landscape shared the same ground with his field, more or less. Not for how many photographs people would usually take of them, no, it was more for the essences of the structures themselves. Many great architects would argue that how people lived and utilized a structure were the most essential of the existence of the structure itself, if not straight being the reason of them being made. That many great designs, would only be of its greatest worth once people saw the meaning of it in their life. In their own way, they mirrored a photograph, he concluded. And maybe that’s why just like he had taken the art as his life, he too had the tendency to easily grow fond of places. Buildings, parks, even walkways.

He stared at the big window on the wall next to their table. It’s kind of big, curved at the top with slim dark green metal frameworks; the big room they were in was pretty much classic with some Art Noveau touches. He let a few seconds pass as he took in the afternoon lights that were trapped in the water inside a clear glass vase on the sill. It created beautiful reflections on the nearby brick wall and also complimented the flower inside very nicely. He made a mental note to visit the corner again and capture it later.

He looked up some portraits collections online for references while he waited for his dongsaeng to come back from putting back their trays of food. He found some good ones on Instagram, biting his lips for somehow feeling out of place with the platform. Other than for the very limiting formats, he just thought that it misguided people of the value of photographs. It wasn't about how many people saw them; rather, it was more about how many people find those shots meaningful, far more than merely pretty or cool. Or perhaps even it was more about how someone would perceive it, if any would at all, than about the count.

“Here, I brought iced coffee”, said the other as he nudged the older on the cheek with the plastic glass, enjoying how it startled his hyung.

The older glared jokingly and lightly shoved his shoulder, earning a deep chuckle from his dongsaeng before he thanked him and put the glass down. Changkyun then sat back, placing his phone down as he sipped on his caffeine for the day.

Getting ready, Kihyun then carefully opened his backpack, starting to unpack his camera. He took it out, placing it gently on the table afterwards before moving on to bring out a few of his cleaning tools. It was rather windy today, and he did take out his camera this morning to capture the main avenue of their campus. He had meant to present it for their club’s seasonal issue as it was such an iconic view. The road was already covered in gold and crimson in this time of the year, a scenery most if not all students always waited for all year round. Some of the leaves slapped his camera, though, and there might be some dust that slipped into his lens due to the wind, so he decided to clean it first before taking the shots. He looked through the viewfinder to check if anything got stuck on the lens filter, just in case. Slowly bringing the camera to eye-level, his sight swallowed by a familiar darkness.

Kihyun liked it. He liked the distance. In the viewfinder, the world to him looked clearer than ever. It felt less convoluted, far more liberating. It felt safe, that for that time alone, the moment held true before the shutter was closed again. In that space, he could freely love whatever he decided to be in frame. Whatever was there, he could set aside the stains that might or might not come with it. Say it a paradox of a photograph; that a frozen moment was as real as it was not.

He noticed that there’s a few remains of crushed leaves sticking on his camera filter, so he grabbed his pump brush. As his dongsaeng noticed this, he realized his hyung might take some time to clean his kit and decided to go check on his messages. There were some from Hyungwon, the shadow-member of their photography club that served as their go-to model. The man was probably bored in his current Comparative Literature class, he mused. He started to chat with him as Kihyun continued to clean, now carefully dismantling the body while he simultaneously delve deeper into his thoughts.

.

He once was heartbroken. Looking back at it, perhaps he should have known better than to get too close to the sun. Photographers were light-painters; thus sun was one of their primary life sources. It felt good to have them close, but once it was taken away he really should have known it'd be hard for him to function. He became wary of the literal sun and he left it for God knew how long.

 _"I just hate the sun"_ , he would say back then, only to be countered with Minhyuk’s clicking tongue.

_"No, your eyes are always sensitive to it, but you've never hated it."_

Even now he tried to counter what Minhyuk had said, despite knowing it’s true and that his effort was futile. Sometimes he wondered, why did he always fall for the sunshine type, anyway? Or did he? Then again it might just be him associating people he loved with the thing he somewhat worshipped; the sun and its light. He groaned as he realized how he brought his demise upon himself.

.

It was when Hyungwon decided to work back on his essay that Changkyun realized his hyung was already done cleaning, and had just groaned, his eyes looked far away. The younger then put away his half-empty glass right beside the older’s.

 “...Hyung?”

Kihyun’s mind was dragged back out by the smooth voice and a touch to the back of his hand. The careful tone was familiar, although this time it was laced with worry. The touch was rather new, though, and he couldn’t help but blush. It was usually him the one initiating any form of skinship.

“Yes? Oh”, he stared questionably to the source of voice, only to be met with soft orbs boring into his, making him a bit skittish from the attention.

“Sorry, I zoned out. It’s nothing”, he explained, catching the other’s eyes again and smiling softly, as if to assure the other. Changkyun smiled back.

Kihyun then looked back to his notes on the phone for the directions of his portraits assignments. He didn’t remember anything particularly complex about it, but still he’d rather screw up on something other than what he assumed would be basic. (He’s not saying portraits were that easy, but then again it was one of his favorite).

“Apparently it’s really just a ‘natural’ portrait. No particular orders. Just give me any pose you feel comfortable with”, instructed the older.

Confused, the younger couldn’t help but make a lost puppy face, boring holes on the lens with his eyes as Kihyun held back a laugh behind the camera body. His dongsaeng was just too cute.

The next time, though, he was holding back a snort as said dongsaeng just continued to make up ridiculous poses. First it was a sitting kungfu pose with bulged eyes, then a surprised meme face.

“Yaah- Yaaa, Yaaa, Yaaah! Not like that!”, he scolded, reaching across the table to gently headslap his grinning dongsaeng. Whether his face displayed an amused laugh or an annoyed scowl, he didn’t want to know. Probably both. He then went back to his standby position, as the other started to pull a basic, generic pose with his loose fist under his chin.

_The thinking pose? Well it’s a start. Not bad._

_Click._

His makeshift model kept moving slowly, this time not too far from the previous one as he opened his palms to support the side of his jaw, gazing softly into the lens. Kihyun could feel his heart skipped a beat.

He didn’t realize it before in the first few minutes, but then he caught his breath at how he had just realized how smooth the boy's sun-kissed skin looked in the frame. It was unfair, because realistically speaking, he shouldn't even be able to look that soft. Kihyun had known his dongsaeng for years, and if there's one thing he knew well, one of them was that the boy generally had always had problematic skin; so why did he look godly now? Did he really pay such poor attention to the boy before?

_Click._

His dongsaeng kept moving slowly, just enough for his shutterspeed to catch; movements that seemed a bit too careless yet actually decently calculated. It was practical, and had Kihyun not been distracted he would have said something about it, letting his appreciation shown and guessing that perhaps his dongsaeng had randomly chosen to observe and learn from Hyungwon out of the blue.

He realized now in the isolated space of the viewfinder that despite the acne scars, the other parts of skin that showed were actually baby-smooth. It almost glistened in the golden light of the afternoon, but veiled softly by the tan of his skin. Kihyun could feel something rising when he focused on his dongsaeng's exposed neck, eyes trailing down to the collar bone that his loose white sweater let shown when the man stretched that part of his body. It was a move the older knew to be more of a habit than the other trying, so what were these rubbing his insides? It shouldn't feel dangerous, yet it did and he chose to ignore it. He tried to mask his reactions and feign composure, granted his face was covered by the body of the camera.

_Click._

Shots went on and he then motioned for another pose again with a swipe of his fingers. For some reason his breath was caught in his throat and it kept getting worse as he focused more on the frames until he couldn’t really trust himself to speak. He hoped Changkyun wouldn’t catch up to it. Actually, he hoped he himself wouldn’t, either.

It’s not that Kihyun hated feelings, he'd like to think. It’s quite the contrary. As someone working in the particular field of his, it's a very questionable thing to say; they were more of manifestations of them, after all. No, he had never actually disliked it. It was something he had to particularly embrace, anyway, and had he disapproved of that he wouldn't be where he was now. He loved feelings, in fact, love to love people, had always been indulging in it. That's why he liked to take care of people, wasn't it?

Back when he was locking himself away due to the break-up with Yoongi, he actually missed it the most; loving people through his viewfinder. It's somewhere he felt safe enough for him to be vulnerable with his feelings. That, and he considered that love was a great medicine, no matter who's giving or taking.

He was never afraid to love. It's just that he _cared_ for it in a way where he picked his steps thoroughly; liked for it to somewhat be in control. And between the afternoon light and his dongsaeng, there was just this sort of uncertainty he couldn't bring himself to settle with. There was something in how his skin glowed, how his acne scars looked so endearing, and how he slowly blinked his eyelids glancing around that waved the warning flags at Kihyun.

Warning flags that he ignored just as his eyes followed the stretching lips that slowly turned into a small smile. The soft glance into the lens that followed. The lithe yet sturdy fingers that combed through his hair, letting some of the strands to fall back in an enticing state of disarray.

Those flags were telling him that no, _there's no way to filter this_ ; a vague telltale sign of drowning. There's just something terrifying to him at loving when you didn't know where things were going. It's a free fall he still wasn't going to take, an ocean he wasn't ready for.

It was as scary as it was compelling.

Yet Kihyun was still on his viewfinder, his primary instinct to capture the moment was at its strongest. The more dangerous, the rarer and riskier, the better they worth. So he did, pressing the shutter almost every second, burning the view onto the sensory field or somewhere else, he wouldn't know, too captivated by the lights bouncing on his dongsaeng's fingertips.

.

Unbeknownst to the two, two set of eyes were watching them. They had been in fact following them to the cafeteria, once they've accidentally seen the two together after getting drinks at the nearby stall. They chatted here and there quietly while paying attention to their friends on the other side of the spacious room, barely keeping themselves out of sight by the help of the nearby shelves and pillars.

After some jokes and a heartful banter, the raven-haired man then grabbed his phone, tapping a few times. He then aimed it silently towards their friends, pressing the zoom button for awhile before clicking. The screen went still and he took the phone back to check the result. He looked at the sight of his two friends endearingly, smiling at the expression one tried to hide from the other that otherwise was open to their angle. He gave the picture a final look before reaching on top of the arm on the table and handing over his phone.

"Tell me, Jooheon. What do you see?"

The other reached for it, inspecting it for a while before mirroring an expression he had just basked himself in. He laughed and shook his head, Minhyuk's soft giggles being the music in his ears.

 

********

**Author's Note:**

> So I actually have made another Photography/college AU changki far long before this, it's just that it's still halfway done so I just guess I might as well just make it a series, hahaha. I'm now kind of considering the side pairs (it was supposed to be Showhyuk, then Wonhyuk, but now I'm currently enslaved by Joohyuk, apparently. I'm a mess oTL )


End file.
